hmmmmm....?....

good bye summer... i shall miss you dearly :(...
well its school time again, its been since yesterday. JUNIOR YEAR, one more year after that and i'll be done with SCHOOL! then going to college though... -_- man i'm old.. hahaaaa annnnnnnnnnnnywaysss...........................................................

Why do we feel like we have to work through things so quickly and without truly thinking about what we do? we always act first and think last but what got us to do things this way? i feel so powerless and worthless for i'm a victim of this. most of my life has been like this though. say things before thinking about what i say, acting the way i do before i think about what i'm about to do, act recklessly without thinking about consequences or who i'm hurting along the way.. another question i've been hearing a lot of is, "what does God have in store for me?" and i didn't really think about the questions people were saying to me until i just sat down after finishing only my 2nd homework assignment from classes. and something i love doing is helping people, but the more i grow i feel unintelligent, too lazy, too hopeless to keep helping people. if helping people were like an IQ, mine is dropping like rain... why do we feel so hopeless after we always hit our peak at that moment?? yeah... idk its almost impossible to help you now days :( its sad, i wish we were all just happy again. :( its like an empty feeling not seeing people happy. but then again no one can always be happy.. hm... idkk, i wish there was a way that we could though. but yeah i love you all :)