man. the prayer meeting yesterday was so good. i have to do hw right now but i'm doing this instead... hahaha. it was so moving, i got things i wanted to get out and i wanna start to change, but why do i feel like i dont wanna? like i feel slightly changed but i still feel like the gross me.. and i wanna just talk/hang out with people and just have a good time, but its hecka hard to let people know about your problems. hm.. i'm still hecka paranoid people thinking i'm so annoying because i wanna talk to them or i just wanna have someone there to talk to about all my problems i have in my heart. i feel like i can't trust anyone cuz i'm not close to anyone but i cant get close unless i talk to them but then they'll get annoyed by the way i act... what to do.... i need to start having more faith.. but its hard finding faith alone...